Monday, July 03, 2006

Wear Sunscreen?

Imagine where you'ld be right now if you took all the good advice that ever came your way. I've given that question a good long thought (and now my head hurts) and come to the conclusion that i'ld be right here battling mosquitoes, listening to my old man snore (and wondering when his snoring ceases momentarily if he can see me smirking to myself by the light of this here laptop and hes wondering what i have to smirk about) on the couch, trying to mentally seperate myself from the smelly socks stuck to my feet (wheres ur gaddam telekinesis when u need it?). I found my answers where I found my question (it wasn't really a question), In the last words of Baz Lurhmann's Everybodys free (to wear sunscreen) - "Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth." (incase u missed it the song title was ur cue to download). I remember thinking the first time i heard it sometime in the late 90's (pardon the bracket, but isn't it so cool to have lived long enough to be nostalgic about the 90's) that if i followed the advice of the song life would be perfect. Now not up to a decade has passed and i feel more like the guy on the giving end rather than on the recieving end of this. What was my point again? I didn't have one. But I can make one up... we're all given the blueprint for this here life but we cant use it. we have to make our own mistakes. Pile them all up and then start giving advice when its too late for us to take it ourselves...I didn't say It'd be deep or anything. Enjoy the song.

Yeah, I don't know when to take my leave.

On the real, I relate to the whole song minus the sunscreen bit. Its funny how i understand what he means by the power and beauty of youth and some would argue that i'm still too young to fully grasp it.

"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't." This a deep one considering that 22 was last year and subconciously I'd set a deadline for my search for the meaning of life (mine - not life in general - the cosmos can suck my appendix).

My grandma asked me a deep question the other day. Its one of those questions I wish people asked me more often because its one of those things i can't be bothered to think about unless someone asks. She was staring at a Brand Nubian flyer thing that I've got on my wardrobe door when she said it. At first I thought she was losing her eyesight or something. I love Sadat X and all but those dudes are not the best looking men in show business. So when she asks "Who are you?". I'm on the devensive babbling about how I'm not in the picture, and how its not a picture and how i don't know any of those (strange looking) men personally. Then she repeats the question and I realize what she's really asking is what all this means to me, Baby pictures, 'tell an american to vote.com' postcards. I couldn't answer it so i let my mouth take control and it got me out of that one. All I could do personally was make wise-ass remarks about how i'd know the answer to the question if she'd been asking it at least once a year for the past 23. I'm still stomped by the question and I don't think I can answer it now (maybe on my death bed i will, but then it'd be "Who were you?").

Who am I? Am I what I believe in (stand for), what I do, what I want to do, what I've done, What I say, How many times a day I pray, what type of music I listen to (or make), What I look like, Or is that "show me your friends" BS not really BS, Am I my shoe size, my star sign, the school i went to, the type of job i want, the life I want to live, NaS, Or the weird guy in the blue pyjamas those okcupid ppl claim I am, My IQ? ... I believe in straight foward answers so saying i'm the sum total of all of this doesn't fly with me. Unlike a lot of people I dont have that one word that describes me. I notice this everywhere but the blog world is a perfect example to find people who can tell you who they are (or think they can...same difference) in one word and that word would fit into one of those categories without a second thot. Do people really think of themselves in those same terms which the want everyone else to identify them with. If thats the case judging by the name of my blog I'm a pretentious fuck... there a couple ppl out there who would agree with that statement, but i'd rather argue that its what i was the day I named the blog. Where am I going with this again? No where...enjoy the song. I'm off to ponder.

13 comments:

Nneka's World said...

Search inside your soul
Search inside your heart
Search inside your mind
Search everywhere
Ask your self questions
maybe you might find out who you are........

Dont mind me, just rambling....

MissQuote said...

I find Man's need to constantly define himself an indication of his truly narcissistic nature. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. To survive one must be self-involved, self-serving and self obsessed. Sounds selfish right? But really the question 'who am i?' is a prime example of Man's focus on self because self is important, no two ways about it. Anyway, no-one is greater than the sum of their parts. True self definition comes from identifying those parts that make-up the jigsaw puzzle of one's existence and trying to put them all together. Problem is not everyone is introspective enough to objectively identify those parts. It's why many of us rely on other people to define who or what we are. Sometimes one word definitions of ourselves is so much more easier. Nice blog btw, i come here sometimes.

Quest said...

what's happening to tmtb? for a minute there, i thought I was on the wrong blog. Introspection's good..
so Wear Sunscreen is on one of my absolute favorite CDs, courtesy of my dear friend S, which she subsequently packed with jingles like Iron Lion Zion :-) great memories.
I don't know who I am either, and no I don't think my "labels" or "interests" encapsulate the Complete Contradiction that is Me. Blogs are nice cuz you get to think out loud about those kind of questions. but after a while you feel yourself get sucked into this character you have created living/eating/breathing in the blogosphere...and after a while you aren't sure if it's not just another Fake You who's mucking around online.
I have no point here. Carry on...

chrome said...

shame the link's dead. would've loved to hear the tune.

Introspection is very cool. At 23 you are doing pretty fucking good. my twenties was a haze of weed smoke and cheap women. the only introspection was why I wasnt clocking dollars fast enuff.

in the league of "looks" Brand Nubian ain't doing bad. minus Grand Puba of course. nigga look like a toad.

who am i?

"1/3rd blackman, 1/3rd sand, 1/3rd jackie chan"

tori said...

If I had to describe mysef in ine word it would be dynamic. The beauty of being human is being able to change every moment with every experience. I would be completely bored by you if you know exactly who you are before you even hit your quarter life crisis...[orjust a stirring in your soul]


* i coulsnt resist quoting mayer. He is a poet, I teel ya!!!*

oh yeah....23 probably is quarter life. Good luck with that. you have at least 2 more crises to look forward to.

toometoblog said...

@ Nneka- Is that really ur rambling? I wonder what good advice would sound like coming from u? Lol

@ missquote- Thats deep. i'll have to confess to not having put much thot in while writing that. i think i'll have to read it again cos i wasn't expecting such a well thot out reply. i'll definitely be checkin ur blog if ure dropping that kind of knowledge on it.

@ everchange- Lol, i guess if u were to describe me based on my blog 'deep' wouldn't be the word. The point u denied was my point exactly even though i didnt make it partly because i didnt see what the point and also i couldn't think of a way to make the point without making a big deal out of it and...what was my point again?

@ Obi- Lmao @ Puba. But he looks more like a hippo...Sadat X looks like a heavily weeded kermit. Don't let me even start with Jamal. Thats messed up with the link. i guess i'll have to hunt for another one. Its Sad to say but in this world its best to have money on ur mind as soon as u pop out.
Am I doing good at 23? I hope so

@ Tori- Dynamic? that'll describe every tom, dick and harriet. You may have answered the greatest question known to man (no sarcasm)... but everyone knows that (sort of) it doesn't feel enough tho. 'cause when asking myself who i was? i knew if i got a strong enuff distraction at that exact moment it wouldn't matter until the next time i have to ask myself that again (in the middle i'll be dynamic-i guess?).
(Mayer is a poet but on the strenght of realizing 'everything i think i need always comes with batteries' He has no copyright on quaterlife crisis- he's too rich to notice. wait till he's 40- aha!)

Anonymous said...

Personally i think introspective analysis is fundamentally flawed; unless you're competently able to break yourself down without any bias - plus since 95% of your communication entails conversations with others then isnt the best "analysis" that which is carried out by the other parties and not ourselves.

So TMTB: You are an Ijanikin boy. read into that what you may.
Wicked blog - once again, i might just have to rip this off and expand on it...copyright exclusivity requested.

toometoblog said...

Feel free to expand ur blog always cracks me up (the 4 voices are deep dudes and the best analyst of a young mans existence i've come across in a while) but ur page is always crashing my browser!
Considering how the act of communicating usually entails tryingto make (mostly positive) impressions of ourselves on ppl what position are they in when all they know is what we want them to(subconciously in some rare cases) know?
But I see the wisdom in ur words. I am an Ijanikin boy.

Olówó said...

I loved that song. When it came out I absorbed all thwe words...I even wear sunscreen. I haven't listened to it in a while though. Lemme go find it.

trae_z said...

that song is fucking awesome. loved it since the first day i heard it on radio. i've gots to
download it. i'm actually big on introspection...cheap women and why I ain't clocking dollars
fast enuff being amongst my thoughts.

Aramide said...

I ask myself that question every now and then....hmmm this post has really got me thinking..However I dont do it much, I think I'm more selfless than selfish, hence not much introspection rather I question where I want to be in 5 yrs and what I'm doing with myself rather than WHO AM I?

P.S. Check out the forum I currently have going on my blog for a week. xxx

Anonymous said...

Done! once again, thanks for the inspiration. Apparently, i'm Zet

Anonymous said...

love the bit about advice&havin2make mistakes b4 being able2give it,&at a time wen we cant take it4ourselves.. who am i?i beliv talkin wit pple helps a bit in figuring this out,but then noone but u can kno every detail of every event that has helped mold ur every decision,&every1 xcept u knos wen u're not quite who u used2be,cuz u'r not conscious of the subtle changes that mark ur growth... 23,huh