Jessica (Rosario alba) dawson hybrid chic: Is that a midget in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
too me to blog: I would be happy to see you if u really did exist and were not just a hypothetical prop set up to breathe life into this uninspiring blog i find myself writing tonight.
Jdhc: What???
tmbt: I didnt expect her to quote Kerouac or anything but a little wit wouldnt hurt
God: This is your creation not mine. Don't turn to me everytime you [Beep] up ur fantasies...
De Other Guy: It isnt his actually hes ripping delots voice convo thingy. Alas, that delot, hes one of mine...
God: I'm talking about her not this...this...
Jdhc: What???
tmtb: its a midget.
[
Note to self: Never bring him here again - Ed.]
Now to the blog :
I got my first midget today. While the rest of u would wonder if i have acquired myself a slave (a little person sex slave - knowing how filthy your minds are) or a hard on (thus ending speculation about my involvement in the 2 minute man conspiracy) those of you involved in more journalistic pursuits would know what i'm talking about. A midget is that little tape recorder thingy that journalist shove into peoples faces and women in soap operas usually have lying in their hand bags when lazy screenwriters are in desperate need of a plot twist ("But you said you loved me Antonio...*sob* *sniff*... I've got it all on tape"). Its like the word 'unionized', a chemist (like I am sometimes) would read it as 'un-ionized' while a lay man or woman (like you are because this is my blog) would read 'union-ized'. If you didnt know this, don't be hard on yourself it doesnt mean youre stupid (you have all those pictures of clothes you thought were cool 10 years ago to do that) it just means i'm not.
(Where was I?)
On monday I'll be conducting my first ever interview, taking my first (2nd or 3rd actually) step into the murky waters of music journalism. Here before you sits...types...is...was...whatever the next Nick Hornby (Lester bangs at least) or at least someone who once interviewed a DJ and decided he'd rather do something else with his life next monday. I don't know anything about interviewing folk but i'm guessing the trick is to make the interviewee say interesting stuff... I have the whole of 2mrw/2day to think of how to bait Jimmy Jatt claim he was once a prisoner of war in Vietnam living on a slice of bread and 10 sticks of cigarette for most of the last decade... thats a bit too much... well, i could make him say he writes volumes of 'haiku' in his spare time if he mentions 'fufu'.
(
Instead of writing some clever stuff and sticking a link in it i would like to take this timeout to plug the website giving me the opportunity to do this and a lot of other good stuff coming soon. soundsofnigeria.com - thats the future there.)
Back to the midget. I've decided to name it mini-me. if any 'little person' reads this and thinks i'm poking fun at the vertically challenged... I'ld like them to know that a lot of my best friends are midgets. Hit me! (Insert James Brown Hit here!).
In other news:
I was almost a victim of the 'one chance' scam this week. If you don't know what that means... I wish i could trade places with you. I'm mad tired and i need to go crash so i cant tell that story today. but at least u know i'm in one piece as i type this so u can guess how it ended.
In other other news:
The rains been "$%^#@*&$ $%^& - i know i shouldnt speak about mother nature that way.
Stuff I've said into my midget today:
"Cough...Cancer sticks and karma flavoured water..."
"...A bouquet of cigarette butts in a bottle top ashtray... oh! I like that...Is ash-tray one word or two?... cough "
Thats cutting-edge journalism for you there.
jdhc: Whats a midget?
