Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I'm Back!

Will give the full gist on my 3-week katsina adventure very soon. In summary it was more like Nkems comment on my last post than all that writing and reading stuff. plus there was electricity and khaki turned out aight. So my next post will be the last on this blog for a year or so. I'm starting a new blog to record my adventures during the service year (finally something real to blog about). Need to catch up on my fav blogs... I'm outty. BTW I missed all you guys (you know who u are). BTW (part biyu) Lupe's albums finally here now u can stop guessing who's on third. :)

Thursday, August 31, 2006

May be my last blog for a while

Mad Villain says:
guy
Mad Villain says:
where dem pos tu?
Mad Villain says:
u*?
and then i says:
kat-fuckin-sina
Mad Villain says:
rofl
and then i says:
its not funny man
and then i says:
they get electricity for that side?
Mad Villain says:
i resemble globe trotter?
Mad Villain says:
man take am like that

Mad Villain says:
katsina should be ok

and then i says:
i no get choice
Mad Villain says:
tayo should know more

and then i says:
true
Mad Villain says:
shey he's close to there
and then i says:
at least i go dey see the guy
and then i says:
thats if i stay past orientation
Mad Villain says:
well who knows
Mad Villain says:
u fit jam your wife there
and then i says:
lol
and then i says:
for shaaria zone
and then i says:
i dont think so
Mad Villain says:
man u never know
Mad Villain says:
u fit becom sharia faithful sef
and then i says:
lmao
and then i says:
i doubt that
and then i says:
ure the first person to say its not so bad
and then i says:
everybody just dey look me like say i get obituary for head
Mad Villain says:
well e don tey for me
Mad Villain says:
maybe i need come back house

and then i says:
even ppl them post to kaduna dey laff me
Mad Villain says:
lol
and then i says:
it cant be that bad, abi?
and then i says:
i dont even want to blog about it
Mad Villain says:
u'll adapt
Mad Villain says:
u'll find peeps like u there
Mad Villain says:
just try and enjoy camp first sha

Mad Villain says:
though i doubt u'll be getting the babes at camp
and then i says:
lol
Mad Villain says:
babes always runs their shit
Mad Villain says:
and it always clicks for them

and then i says:
true dat
Mad Villain says:
katsina is way off their list

Mad Villain says:
so i forsee a fucked up camp for u

I'm too lazy to blog about getting posted to Katsina for youth service so i put up this MSN convo instead. (insert witty remarks here) (here) (and here) (yawn). Peace out. if i'm motivated i'll post something up before the 5th of september (departure day). if not its peace out. keep my blog warm. Don't do anything (too) interesting with your lifes. Don't miss me too much (no sarcasm there, for real). You know the addy, u know the number. Peace out (again).

This hot girl in my class got posted there too. ha, ha.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

...Or Love And The MySpace Generation

GYM CLASS HEROES: New Friend Request


I should be working right now but i decided to share this and hopefully ya'll can digest this while i write my thesis on the above topic (that isn't the work i'm supposed to be doing) which you'll probably never get to read cause i probably won't finish it. Back to work.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The invisible blog - of course if there was a title it'd no longer be invisible and if i don't figure out the whole RSS feed thing it'd be up the nigerianbloggers.com.
I've got 37 mins 13 seconds to write all the invisible stuff i want to... but to be honest i'd rather be doing something else but i'm stuck here now in a cybercafe because i won't be able to use the internet at home for a week.
Truth is i have no invisible stuff to write. And its rainining and i'm stuck here and my funny box is on strike. Quit looking for the joke. I'm doing a Dave Chapelle S.A move. And at the same time i have nothing serious to write about. Boredom.
"I just need time to walk it off"
"Write on!"

I should moan about PHCN destroying my life (or slowing it down at least). But I won't cause I'll get even more bored. Or I could write about the 'Gym Class Heroes' but thats personal shit. Yawn. Why write when i can read? I'm off to your blog. Boredom.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

I've got a midget in my pocket

Jessica (Rosario alba) dawson hybrid chic: Is that a midget in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

too me to blog: I would be happy to see you if u really did exist and were not just a hypothetical prop set up to breathe life into this uninspiring blog i find myself writing tonight.

Jdhc: What???

tmbt: I didnt expect her to quote Kerouac or anything but a little wit wouldnt hurt

God: This is your creation not mine. Don't turn to me everytime you [Beep] up ur fantasies...

De Other Guy: It isnt his actually hes ripping delots voice convo thingy. Alas, that delot, hes one of mine...

God: I'm talking about her not this...this...

Jdhc: What???

tmtb: its a midget.

[Note to self: Never bring him here again - Ed.]

Now to the blog :
I got my first midget today. While the rest of u would wonder if i have acquired myself a slave (a little person sex slave - knowing how filthy your minds are) or a hard on (thus ending speculation about my involvement in the 2 minute man conspiracy) those of you involved in more journalistic pursuits would know what i'm talking about. A midget is that little tape recorder thingy that journalist shove into peoples faces and women in soap operas usually have lying in their hand bags when lazy screenwriters are in desperate need of a plot twist ("But you said you loved me Antonio...*sob* *sniff*... I've got it all on tape"). Its like the word 'unionized', a chemist (like I am sometimes) would read it as 'un-ionized' while a lay man or woman (like you are because this is my blog) would read 'union-ized'. If you didnt know this, don't be hard on yourself it doesnt mean youre stupid (you have all those pictures of clothes you thought were cool 10 years ago to do that) it just means i'm not.
(Where was I?)
On monday I'll be conducting my first ever interview, taking my first (2nd or 3rd actually) step into the murky waters of music journalism. Here before you sits...types...is...was...whatever the next Nick Hornby (Lester bangs at least) or at least someone who once interviewed a DJ and decided he'd rather do something else with his life next monday. I don't know anything about interviewing folk but i'm guessing the trick is to make the interviewee say interesting stuff... I have the whole of 2mrw/2day to think of how to bait Jimmy Jatt claim he was once a prisoner of war in Vietnam living on a slice of bread and 10 sticks of cigarette for most of the last decade... thats a bit too much... well, i could make him say he writes volumes of 'haiku' in his spare time if he mentions 'fufu'.
(Instead of writing some clever stuff and sticking a link in it i would like to take this timeout to plug the website giving me the opportunity to do this and a lot of other good stuff coming soon. soundsofnigeria.com - thats the future there.)

Back to the midget. I've decided to name it mini-me. if any 'little person' reads this and thinks i'm poking fun at the vertically challenged... I'ld like them to know that a lot of my best friends are midgets. Hit me! (Insert James Brown Hit here!).

In other news:
I was almost a victim of the 'one chance' scam this week. If you don't know what that means... I wish i could trade places with you. I'm mad tired and i need to go crash so i cant tell that story today. but at least u know i'm in one piece as i type this so u can guess how it ended.

In other other news:
The rains been "$%^#@*&$ $%^& - i know i shouldnt speak about mother nature that way.

Stuff I've said into my midget today:
"Cough...Cancer sticks and karma flavoured water..."

"...A bouquet of cigarette butts in a bottle top ashtray... oh! I like that...Is ash-tray one word or two?... cough "

Thats cutting-edge journalism for you there.

jdhc: Whats a midget?

Monday, July 24, 2006

Rain and stuff

Its 1:36 a.m and theres no light. I've got ear phones on (heard theyre called buds - but i'm razz by choice) so i can't hear the mosquitos but i'm sure they're buzzing around me. my old man can't sleep and I don't think it has anything to do with electricity - he is old now - he has always been my ''oldman" but now hes looking the part. My mum is asleep (shes old too). My sister has gone to bed, against her will, as soon as NEPA (who cares what they're called these days they're still crap - they should have spent all that money they spent on new stationery after their name change to provide one more hour of electricity for me) 'took the light' I pulled the whole seniority stunt on her and 'chanced' her off this laptop (yes i'm roasting my nuts again). Shes on hols and I know how that feels, a survivor of BHW I & II myself, I'm trying to be as unannoying (and un-chancy) as possible... shes growing so fast its scary.
Earlier today, she asked me if I had any movie she could watch, I gave her 'Hideous Kinky' (nice movie) as she was leaving with it I remember that there were sex scenes in it... I'm scared for her (when I remember to be)... Shes 15 (same age as the movies rating BTW)... Shes on Hi5 now (I've sworn to leave a I'll break-your-neck-if-you're-a-pervert-trying-to-mack-my-sister-online testimonial death threat on her page before i quit Hi5 forever) and its no longer beyonce or ashantis pic, its her own... The closest my parents ever came to educating me on sex was just a year ago. I almost broke down in angry tears and my mum couldn't understand why. I thought my reasons were obvious: I'm (was) 22! What were you waiting for this is at least 6 years too late... I'm scared cause we have the same parents (did I mention that they were old).
Its 2:05 a.m I'm praying it rains. I love the rain. From what I've seen of the rest of the world (not much but enough) the rain is best in Lagos (if your roof isn't leaking). Its soothing. I'm feeling down (fucked would be a better word). I miss my brother. I should stop blogging and mail him now but I won't because... just because. Its hard to explain but we only tell each other we love each other when we're drunk. He has been away for over a year now so I drink less now and I only say the word 'love' when I sing along to some song (BTW Corrine Bailey Rae is dope and it has nothing to do with her last name).
If not for the music life would be fucked (I am but life isn't). I've been down - I don't mess with the word 'Depression' because I know what it looks like. If you've had very close family hospitalized over that shit you'll realize that theres a time to stop being self-indulgent and step out from from under your imaginary dark cloud. The real ones aren't musical or poetic if they were at all it'll be on some AZ and Nas "Lifes a bitch and then you die/ thats we get high/ cause you never know when you're gonna go!" tip... Reality bitch slaps
2:24 a.m What was I saying again? I'm down but It can all change in a second so I'm not really bothered. All it'll take is some rain (its been raining all week but wheres that shit when you need it?) a phonecall, Elec-fucking-tricity!!! Anything. And if it doesnt rain etc. I'll be good until 2mrw/2day because of the music. Thank you for the music (all 14hrs and 2 gigs of it - you know who you are). Aight this is where I put the safety on and recommend a new soundtrack to my blog (Its on repeat now). Go to this page and download the track called runaways you can also read along to it here. I like sage Francis hes like rain - good words are almost as soothing as good weather.
2:41 a.m Almost forgot to thank senior Delot for reminding me to spill my guts. Is this how much time blogging consumes? Well what else is there to do here, besides downloading mp3s from Obi's playlist. my MSN isn't signing in...crap...I can't sleep in this heat...drat...I've got places to go 2mrw/ 2day...rain...the old man is sleeping... :)

Sunday, July 09, 2006

More musical advice

D-Mite-Read a book (Click don't save as)
More practical than 'introspective'. To quote the poet himself: "Read a book MUTHERF**KER!"
Check his myspace :)

and...



















Just found this site: Nigerian photography at its finest "Depth of fields"