Wear Sunscreen?

Imagine where you'ld be right now if you took all the good advice that ever came your way. I've given that question a good long thought (and now my head hurts) and come to the conclusion that i'ld be right here battling mosquitoes, listening to my old man snore (and wondering when his snoring ceases momentarily if he can see me smirking to myself by the light of this here laptop and hes wondering what i have to smirk about) on the couch, trying to mentally seperate myself from the smelly socks stuck to my feet (wheres ur gaddam telekinesis when u need it?). I found my answers where I found my question (it wasn't really a question), In the last words of Baz Lurhmann's Everybodys free (to wear sunscreen) - "Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth." (incase u missed it the song title was ur cue to download). I remember thinking the first time i heard it sometime in the late 90's (pardon the bracket, but isn't it so cool to have lived long enough to be nostalgic about the 90's) that if i followed the advice of the song life would be perfect. Now not up to a decade has passed and i feel more like the guy on the giving end rather than on the recieving end of this. What was my point again? I didn't have one. But I can make one up... we're all given the blueprint for this here life but we cant use it. we have to make our own mistakes. Pile them all up and then start giving advice when its too late for us to take it ourselves...I didn't say It'd be deep or anything. Enjoy the song.

Yeah, I don't know when to take my leave.

On the real, I relate to the whole song minus the sunscreen bit. Its funny how i understand what he means by the power and beauty of youth and some would argue that i'm still too young to fully grasp it.

"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't." This a deep one considering that 22 was last year and subconciously I'd set a deadline for my search for the meaning of life (mine - not life in general - the cosmos can suck my appendix).

My grandma asked me a deep question the other day. Its one of those questions I wish people asked me more often because its one of those things i can't be bothered to think about unless someone asks. She was staring at a Brand Nubian flyer thing that I've got on my wardrobe door when she said it. At first I thought she was losing her eyesight or something. I love Sadat X and all but those dudes are not the best looking men in show business. So when she asks "Who are you?". I'm on the devensive babbling about how I'm not in the picture, and how its not a picture and how i don't know any of those (strange looking) men personally. Then she repeats the question and I realize what she's really asking is what all this means to me, Baby pictures, 'tell an american to vote.com' postcards. I couldn't answer it so i let my mouth take control and it got me out of that one. All I could do personally was make wise-ass remarks about how i'd know the answer to the question if she'd been asking it at least once a year for the past 23. I'm still stomped by the question and I don't think I can answer it now (maybe on my death bed i will, but then it'd be "Who were you?").

Who am I? Am I what I believe in (stand for), what I do, what I want to do, what I've done, What I say, How many times a day I pray, what type of music I listen to (or make), What I look like, Or is that "show me your friends" BS not really BS, Am I my shoe size, my star sign, the school i went to, the type of job i want, the life I want to live, NaS, Or the weird guy in the blue pyjamas those okcupid ppl claim I am, My IQ? ... I believe in straight foward answers so saying i'm the sum total of all of this doesn't fly with me. Unlike a lot of people I dont have that one word that describes me. I notice this everywhere but the blog world is a perfect example to find people who can tell you who they are (or think they can...same difference) in one word and that word would fit into one of those categories without a second thot. Do people really think of themselves in those same terms which the want everyone else to identify them with. If thats the case judging by the name of my blog I'm a pretentious fuck... there a couple ppl out there who would agree with that statement, but i'd rather argue that its what i was the day I named the blog. Where am I going with this again? No where...enjoy the song. I'm off to ponder.